Starry Starry Night

Today, I found out that the title of one of my all-time favourite classics (woah semantics) is actually not called "Starry Starry Night". MLIA.

Title is, well, go figure.

What? I also used to think That Beyonce's Song was called "To The Left" lor. Don't get these people. If that's not the title then stop repeating it so many times lah! Be like hei yan dou dou and just sing it like it is eg Po-po-po-po-kah face!

***

Today my ah yeh recited 朱子's 黎明即起 洒扫庭除 blahblahblahblah in Cantonese so quickly, Emin*m and Ush*r would call him see foo lor.

Nappshot!

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Isn't it ironic how they always say blood is thicker than water, yet your closest blood relations (to this I mean extended family - not your immediate nucleus) are the ones to know you the least?

Do you realise that at weddings, usually the loudest, longest, most honest and sincere yam sengs are definitely from the buddies' tables?

Yet, there is this syndrome that most adults usually suffer from, called the 自以为是-itis. They think they know you best because they "watched you grow up", and as time passes, formed all sorts of opinions about you and seemingly have every right to stand by those judgements.

I hate every bit of that.

Deep down, I know I am moving along the road of I-Don't-Give-A-Shit-Anymore. Perhaps I only have myself to blame, because from Day One, I have never stopped myself from putting up that facade. Perhaps that is also me and not a facade, but I am twentyfuckingfive for crying out loud. It is frustrating me so so much. Very exasperating.

Really think you know me?

You cannot be more wrong.

A Long One

Finally, Blogger cleaned up its act. Sincere thanks. Have had tons to blog about, but the screwed up pages got me irrationally worked up (the perfectionist in me coming out to play) and I stopped typing halfway each time.

Then again, the Ah Q in me feel that this coincidence (of Blogger being down) did happen at a rather appropriate time; I might have gone on irreparable tirades out of spite. Not that anything is near reparable now, anyway. Ah, that spite.

Perhaps it's also about time I talked about the London trip. I apologise to those of you who asked me what actually was my course about. My half-hearted replies were, to say the least, rather insincere and patronising, but there were things weighing my mind (and heart - oh the mush) and I honestly wasn't in the best of moods then.

I was pretty reluctant about the London trip when I knew of it.

1. The mere idea of (at least) 30 hours of travelling (SG - London; London-Paris; Paris - SG) racked waves of mental nausea.
2. The day-night/night-day jetlag.
3. The 8.30am - 6pm intensive 3-day training in heavy British accent, no less.
4. Travelling with my dad.
   

Don't get me wrong. I love my dad but us travelling alone is the biggest - and quickest - catalyst to sudden big quarrels. Another story for another day.

To add on to things, a few major issues surfaced, and a melting pot of feelings and thoughts began boiling away.

On hindsight, I am thankful this trip happened. All the travelling time gave me ample opportunities to think and realise. Self-realisation (some call it 'enlightenment') seems blandly simple, especially when it comes like a Eureka moment, but it's powerful.

The (psychology) course definitely taught me so much more, and in a way, it was easier to absorb the technical stuff because everything aptly related back to what I was then feeling and experiencing. Surprisingly, the stuff I learned made me realise that I was capable of delving deeper into each issue, when all along I thought I had seen deep enough. I don't know how to say this without turning all Zen, but it's really like ploughing through the difficult entanglements, only to realise that at the end, everything is very simple actually.

The course.

I went on the "Glowinkowski Predisposition Indicator" (GPI) accreditation workshop. If you wish, you can read more about it here. Mouse over the framework (diagram) and get various definitions.

Essentially, the good people at Glowinkowski International have done extensive research for many many years, and concluded that every single person have his own unique predisposition, and predispositions never change. It is not unlike the Chinese saying “三岁定八十” (loosely translated: your personality will be formed by 3 yrs old and it will not change even if you are 80 yrs old).

Predisposition is our deep-rooted personality - the way or manner we prefer to behave in, without being influenced by any surrounding factors such as the environment, decorum or protocol.

Typically, we form our opinions based on what we see, but most times, what we see are the behaviours that people display; these behaviours are not always accurately reflective of a person's predisposition.

Let's say Muthu is a successful banker who works at Raffles Place and is always immaculately dressed in his expensive suits. He speaks perfect English and is a stern but respectable man, and his staff are always praising him for his professionalism and admirable work attitude.

One Saturday, his staff was at a kopitiam tapao-ing supper and heard a loud ruckus at the corner table, where a group of singlet-clad men were guffawing loudly and drinking beer with feet propped up on plastic chairs. She shockingly realised that Muthu was one of them.

This is of course not a very good example (because it is 2.15am), but it's just to say how predisposition is "who you really are", while behaviours simply indicate "what you can be". The former influences behaviour, but behaviour does not necessarily tell a person's predisposition.

Naturally, it is impossible to fully describe what is it really all about here, and I don't even know how many of you sustained till now. Yay if you're still reading this.

So now that I'm an accredited practitioner of the GPI framework, I will be able to analyse and assess a person's predisposition and provide him with all the feedback that will help him understand who he really is. Many organisations (team-building) and individuals have used this framework to help them move ahead with a clearer picture of who they really are, and who they are working with.

I'm really quite excited about this... and although the good people at GI pooh-poohed at the accuracy (or existence) of 'horoscope', my GPI results have utterly, totally, cektaoly proven that I am a true-blue Gemini. Imagine my delight when proven right after all these years. It's like I've always been reading all these stuff but always cynical because ultimately it's internet stuff, and now I have this scientifically-proven piece of unbiased feedback that ascertains what I've always wondered about.

Heh heh. Quite shiok.

So if anyone is interested to do this lemme know lor. If you don't want me to be the feedback-er because it's gonna be awkward, my dad can always do for you. WAHAHA.

Anyways.

Yeah so I was saying how I saw so much more during this trip, and I think I grew up quite a bit. I lost quite a bit, but I too gained quite a bit. People come, people go. Some of them you let them, some of them you are left with no choice. Ball's in your court, ball's not.

In a way, the world is never fair. Good people might not always get happily-ever-afters. But if you allowed yourself to be half cup full, the world will be fair. You get some, you lose some. You might lose some, but you will definitely get back some.

If you insistently put all your energy and attention on preventing losing certain things in life, you might only end up never noticing the other things that you have been gaining.

Life is actually very simple. More often than not, it's just the people living it who complicate everything.